26/06/2025

once again hit with a sudden and inexplicable need to work on my fuckin neocities. hello all. i have no idea if this even reaches anyone but god damn it im having fun anyway.

summer holidays are here which means sunscreen and lack of structure - fortunately i decided to sign up for domestika (hashtag not sponsored) so i can have some creative projects to keep my days from being aimless and boring yaknow?

still loving the ereader but gave up on 1Q84 mostly because i saw a physical copy irl and realised that book is HUGE and im not that into it to justify spending so long reading it. also i googled the ending and i dont wanna read it anyway. now im trying to go through my tbr list of nonfiction productivity n shit books, starting with ali abdaal's which is pretty good so far except the bits where he says you should paint as a hobby are completely useless to me as a professional painter. am i shooting myself in the foot by trying to monetize my hobby? maybe, but whats the alternative? id make a shit doctor thats for sure

once again writing my little affirmation to myself that updating this page wont break the entire site amen.

05/02/2025

updating this entirely because i watched stargirl lee's video on the indie web and it reminded me why i loved doing this shite in the first place. sorry i disappeared for so long! school got overwhelming and pretty much all free time was spent sleeping or playing roblox, not kidding. but i'm alive! which is great! did an area experience in fine art media (which is currently being graded, pray for me gang) where i got to work with sound which was super exciting! it's kinda coincided with my love for vocal synths returning too, and i've been working on original music with the excuse of it being for school! i'm hoping to actually get something uploaded onto my vocaloid channel... i think the video aspect stops me. i have a lot more original songs finished than just camera shy (the only one i have up on youtube) but due to my lack of video editing skills there's no proof of them outside of my teeny tiny soundcloud. speaking of, i should really make a page here to share my music - but then i'd have to make the art page too! and that all sounds like a lot of work i don't have time for at the moment!

i've been pretty much radio silent on all forms of social media art wise since.... december? it's not like i'm not creating, it's just. i don't know, it's hard to share when it feels like everything has to be a perfectly finished piece to "deserve" sharing, yknow? i feel like in general i'm struggling with not finishing paintings which doesn't help the lack of sharing either. i guess part of me is still stuck in this polished portfolio way of thinking, when really sharing art online doesn't have to be that professional. idk!

i also got an e-reader! a kobo libra colour, if you were wondering. currently reading 1Q84 by haruki murakami, enjoying it so far! i love my little e-reader, it's such a lovely thing to have instead of trying to read on the tiny dopamine machine that is my phone

(one last thought - it's been forever since i've done any sort of coding so i'm a little afraid to even edit this page, lol! i hope i don't break anything!)

20/11/2024

im sick (boo) so working from home (well, working and resting. mostly resting.) which means actual time to write here! woo! im at the last day of my AI elective and next is display week where we set up our desks all fancy with all our work and they come look and grade it and all'a that. feeling good about the work i've done! still need to make the art section of this site so i can actually share the work - but i might post some up on blueskies! yep im on blueskies now. or bluesky? whatever its called, im @rosevoidx.bsky.social over there. i was never a massive fan of twitter but there were always so many cool artists over there, now its great to see them move to somewhere a little less... intense, lets say. i definitely think bluesky has a much nicer vibe so far, although with that being said i have found a few scumbags already (luckily few and far between) but the block button is easy to find!

i hate the critique of online spaces as "echo chambers". i think because it implies i'm only getting my news/information/interaction through this one space online which isn't true at all. or maybe i'm just overthinking it.

14/11/2024

i feel like the darkness has me lazier. like, my brain switches off as soon as the sun sets and the lights turn on inside. which is annoying, of course, but i'm still getting a decent enough amount of work done during the day. just finished reading "the age of magical overthinking" which was a super interesting look at different biases and mental tricks we play on ourselves, especially nowadays. I'm also currently reading jenny hval's "girls against god", which is a surreal half-fiction half-manifesto about being a goth witch growing up in southern norway. interesting! i feel like i'd never make a good reviewer, my thoughts about most things can be summed up as "liked it! was good" or "eh.". i'd still like to have a page on this site about my favourite books maybe, or films - definitely one about favourite albums since im more of an album person than a film person (and im definitely not a television person!). im full of big ideas and very little energy to do them all with. but i suppose i should be easy on myself, i'm still a first year, still struggling with public transport every day. i'm looking for a new place closer to the college but nobody's gotten back to me yet...

4/11/2024

day 1 of my ai elective is officially over! it was fun, surprisingly less tech bro-y than part of me was expecting - i guess this IS an art college after all, they do have to encourage our creativity and all'a that. a lot of scary thoughts about ai and the future with how rapidly it's evolving already... i like to think there'll still be room for human art, at least financially. culturally i dont think the ai boom will last - there'll be a novelty to ai-written scripts for a while maybe, but i dont see it having much lasting power. but with capitalism? who knows. i'm clearly not the best person to speak on what the mainstream population will adapt to considering my complete resistance to tiktok (and my more recent attempts at cutting out social media altogether and embracing the "indie web"). but there's always hope.

it can be difficult thinking on topics like ai when i have such a strong tendency to be Right about things - not factually correct, really, but to be In The Right, to Do The Right Thing, y'know? i suppose i have such an ingrained fear of getting things Wrong that when it comes to a complex (and so NEW) concept like ethical ai part of my brain just freaks out. i haven't seen it, but from the clips my sister's shown me and the few gifs that pop up on tumblr, that's kind of the main point of "the good place" - that fear or obsession over doing the capital-r Right thing. that show's conclusion is that there's no ethical consumption under capitalism. which is a fair point! i definitely think a lot of the outrage at ai in terms of environmental impact is scapegoating - see the water usage of ai being brought up to criticize google without the mention that google was already using all that water beforehand.

one last thing - dont take anything i say on this site too seriously. really! this is all just for fun and a way to get myself to journal more (and learn cool fun web design shit, of course). i'm not an intellectual. i'm just some guy.

2/11/2024

i noticed a lot of people say they never dream of phones or the internet… yet discord frequently shows up in mine! does that mean i’m spending too much time on the laptop?? probably. or maybe its just that i have friends from around the world who i only know as an icon on a screen, so when my subconscious thinks of them, there’s nothing to visualize them with other than their discord profiles.

its november already, which feels weird. this year felt like a month at most, but somehow at the same time i feel like i’ve changed more in this year than i have in the last 5. or maybe i haven’t changed at all? i’m writing this while watching a youtube video which im realizing is extremely difficult lol. its betterthanbasic if you were wondering, a makeup youtuber i just discovered the other day and i like her videos a lot! especially her design toasts & roasts series, as someone who keeps up with indie makeup releases a lot of indie brands have… unfortunate packaging design. A side effect of budgeting, i suppose.

speaking of makeup, ive been actually using up my collection a lot more lately! its still difficult because my eczema still flares up on my face sometimes, especially around my eyes. and eyeshadow is my favourite! what a cruel god to do this to me (sob). im specifically trying to use up my existing eyeshadow palettes entirely to justify buying more eyeshadow palettes… which is. maybe not a great mindset. but in my defense the last palette i bought was oden’s eye’s jewels and gem which was after seeeeeeeveral months of desiring and desiring and looking at swatches and videos and daydreaming about those shimmers and desiring some more. so im not doing too bad! in terms of consumerism!